If you like the outdoors activities, amazing landscapes and wildlife, you should visit national park torres del paine. First of all Torres del Paine park is located in the south of Chile at north of Puerto Natales ( 70 km) and covered 2.400 km2. Next, you could see beautiful landscape, for example de iconic torres del Paine, Los Cuernos del Paine, Glaciar Grey, many lakes and other beautiful views. Then native flora and fauna like as Guanacos, cougars and foxes and also the endangered Chilean Huemul. Furthermore, the park contains 15 species of birds. In the third point, you can do a lot of different activities such as fishing, climbing, natural trail walking, river activities, wildlife observation among other activities. Finally the park has a different kinds of services like as ranger station and control huts, camping areas, hotels, picnic areas, shelter and camps and restaurants whit typical food.
Hi.I noticed some points.
ReplyDelete2sentence:First of all the~→It is located
3sentence:Next→There,
5sentence:Then→You can also see the native~
7sentence:In the third point,→In addition,
Hola :D
ReplyDelete1. In the 2nd sentence 'First of all' is not necessary.
2. In the 3rd sentnece 'Next' is also not necessary,
3. [Then native flora and fauna like as Guanacos, cougars and foxes and also the endangered Chilean Huemul] This sentence is a little hard to understand. Please revise it
Adios. Hasta la vista :D
Hello, Swett:
ReplyDeleteGood job. But if you could make some change to your paragraph, it would be better.
Here are my suggestions:
1. "First of all Torres del Pain...", add a coma after "First of all".
2. If you could use less transitional signals, your paraghraph would be very clear.